V-day. What a depressing end to a tough week. Worked back til 7-7:30pm every night this week. Punishing myself to create much needed momentum. Miss manager was impressed by the heavy workload this skinny donkey can move. Giddy-up horsey! I should be out tonight. Drinking, dancing, and carousing. Instead, I sit at home, sweating in front of an open window, neck craned to catch the occasional breeze and the sounds of unfamiliar names... Masakatsu, hayes, mead. Thinking of my friends. Where are they now? Mozzies are going to feast on me tonight. I stare into the darkness, wanting to attack it in an amalgam of silver shuriken and bleeding tiger. I am Shaolin. I am Wu Shu. A blackened arrow, a sharpened point of poisonous root. I hurtle through the night... I throttle the bike handle until the engine screams a heart-rending, shameful cry.

I just poured half a can of coke down the drain. Bought it at the station but couldn't bring myself to drink it. Seems I don't know what I feel like tonight. Thinking too much again. Writing inane shit to try and cure myself of intelligence. I should just get blind drunk and pass out. What a romantic night. Stuffed myself with Peking duck, then went to Spaceway for lack of anything better to do. I should just put on Chet Baker's My Funny Valentine and indulge my pathetic loserness until I implode in a puff of acrimonious butterflies and teddy bear fluff. Trying to read this Korean novel, East West, but it's just too hot, and I'm bothered and distracted. Head is buzzing with thoughts. If I could clean myself on the inside, I would do that now.

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment - would you capture it, or just let it slip?

Running in the dark until my heart burns like a hot coal. I propel myself in tearing bursts of speed, leaping imaginary rabbit holes with ankle-jarring kicks to the ground. My lungs growl with anger as they strangle on the wild, scalding air. Sweat melts from my skin as thick as oil. I am combustible, I am explosive. I douse myself in foolishness and ignite a match.