Haven't had a drink in three days. Starting to feel depressed about things. It's true you can drown your sorrows in alcohol, but like a cockroach, they keep coming back. The moment you stop drinking the buggers come crawling out of the sink. You just need to smack some sense into em. Or some newsprint... Whatever.

I'm beginning to realise that when it comes to fight or flight response, I'm very flighty. I am an emotional procrastinator. I tend to block painful things out of mind... which allows me to be truly happy for days, or weeks even. But I also have a killer memory, honed by years of selective-school rote learning. So these dark thoughts never leave, they are just pushed to the margins of my consciousness. Every now and then I have to battle them, and cut them down to size with cold hard logic... something I learnt in philosophy class. Being able to zoom out and see the bigger picture is an invaluable skill. Sometimes we obsess over problems, we can't let go of them... we just want to squeeze them and feel the pain... like a zit on the nose... But the philosopher just zooms out to a distance from which the zit is not visible. And what he sees is a beautiful girl, standing in a park, under a blue sky.

But fuck it, sometimes it feels good to wallow. And fill the sky with falling anvils.