Listening to Akhenaton rap in French about God knows what. His mysterious hiphop argot is strangely soothing... maybe because I don't have to think to enjoy the lyrics.

I close my eyes but they still feel like they're popping out of my head. I've got blood in my snot and a headache that just won't go away. Looks like I was premature with the declaration of Stayin Alive... the T-cells might have won the battle but they were so busy celebrating on Friday night they lost the war. The doctor says I've shaken off the virus but have now come down with a bacterial "Upper Respiratory Tract Infection." In other words they have no idea what it is, but it's not the flu. And to top it all my wisdom teeth are descending. I'm in a world of pain!!!

Application status: not good.
I've been in bed for 9 days now, and not in a good way, like, say, Pam & Tommy's honeymoon. I've tried reading books, watching DVD's, anything to keep the little momentum I had going. But it's futile - even the Fresh Prince of Bel Air makes my head hurt. Yesterday I started taking pennicillin. Noted some small improvement today. Forced myself to get out of bed and get some work done. Blogging is a start... I haven't had much human contact in the last few days... so not enough sympathy! Need to share my misfortune around and move on.

As my braincells die around me, I've had little bursts of inspiration. Part of the application is a personal statement about my ambitions, what I want to contribute to the Australian film industry and how I think AFTRS can help me get there. I also have to pitch a film that I would like to make. I'm not sure whether this is a supposed to be a short film or a feature film, but I've woken up in the middle of the night twice now with ideas for this project.

My starting point for the personal statement is that as an Asian-Australian, there are not many Australian films that I can identify with. Most Aussie films are about our colourful criminal underground or moody identity/reconciliation pieces set in the Outback or the Bush. There is a distinct lack of Asians in the Australian media, but like the Greeks and Italians before us, our time must come. So I would like to help build this AA new wave by making playful, humanist films about Asian youth in the cities, as well as stories of Goldrush diggers, pearl divers, cane cutters, islanders, students and tourists.

Ideally my career path would follow that of Ang Lee. After representing his peeps in his early films, Ang was able to escape from his pigeonhole as an self-conscious Asian director and make films that appealed to a broader audience. Similarly, I would like to make a film about the horse racing industry in the 1950s, in the age before drug testing, when jockeys and trainers got away with race-fixing and murder. I'm also fascinated by international airports, where the drama is played out by a constantly changing set of walk-on characters.

I'm actually very passionate about Australian film. I like how our films strive for some truth or sincerity. There is a goodness about them... perhaps the innocence of a young nation coming to terms with itself. Our national cinema follows a more European than Hollywood model, in that it is relies more on colourful characters and relationship-based stories, rather than novelty and marketing. To put it another way, Australian films have less bullshit and more heart. For these reasons, my favourite Aussie films are Thank God He Met Lizzie, Bliss, Newsfront, Gallipoli, Chopper, Lantana, Two Hands, Walkabout and Last Days of Chez Nous.