Came across an interesting quote in an article about Michel Houellebecq:

"The universe is only a furtive arrangement of elementary particles. A presage of transition to chaos. Which will carry it away in the end. The human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure "Victorian fictions." Only egotism exists." -- H.P. Lovecraft

I am struggling against this nihilist philosophy. Something in me wants to resist it. This amoral faith, which I first accepted when I was introduced to Nietzsche back in uni. Power, Knowledge and Freedom. That course changed my life. It came at a time when I had rejected Christianity, sickened by the irrational arguments of campus missionaries. These young men of God insisted that all my Buddhist relatives, despite being kind, loving people, were condemned to an eternity in hell unless they converted before dying, because all humanity is tarred by the brush of Adam and Eve's original sin. I debated with these lunchtime evangelists, and struggled against my own devotion to God, before finally rejecting the religion in which I had been raised. Original sin could not co-exist with my new-found understanding of humanism and the relativity of morality.

Freed from the peer pressures of a dogmatic religion, one can easily believe that good and evil are arbitrary, shifting values created by a fragile, fateless race. Robbed of divine predestination, life is ultimately meaningless except for what is yours in the moment. The rules of attraction. Take what you can until death or someone else takes it from you.

Yet part of me still resists, still wants to believe in a just, benevolent God, and a universe crafted with purpose and intellgence. Because if egotism and avarice is truly the way of the world, then liars and charlatans will prosper, whilst the weak and lost stand aside or get knocked down. How do I live in such a world? Even if I no longer believe in destiny or divinity, earthly injustice still makes me angry. You see, a mind freed from the Matrix must take up arms and fight for survival.