Woke up early to see EN off at the airport today. EN has been a big part of my life for the last 6 months. She has been there for me from the moment we met, always smiling, loving and generous, despite the pain of losing her younger brother to cancer. She told me once that her brother had been her closest friend in the world. Watching her deal with the grief of losing him, has helped me overcome my own depression. I find EN to be one of the most beautiful people I know. Her lightness of being has shone through the darkness of my feelings and shown me the way out. For that, I am so grateful to her.

Despite instructions not to open until the 13th of May, I read EN's birthday card on the train back into the city. The image on the front of the card brought a tear to my eye. There have been times when I wished I had it in me to be her partner and make her happy. But due to my reluctance we have always ended up being "just good friends". As we hugged at the airport, I bit my tongue to avoid saying anything that would make it harder for her to leave. EN told me she needed to go away to find herself, and leave her sadness behind. Even though I understood, I selfishly wanted her to stay. But she is on the plane to Europe now. I wish her all the happiness and adventures she deserves.

Over the past 2 years, I've lost 3 of my best friends to the exotic allure of living in London. When will they come back? None of them can say... Having spent a month backpacking around the UK, I am not particularly attracted to living in that cold and fishy country. But goddammit I miss them so! Blubber blubber~