Sorry I havent written anything for awhile! I havent been able to log
many hours online for the past few weeks since my cousin's PC blew up
and my social network here in Malaysia has expanded exponentially.

After 6-7 years of daily work and home access to the interweb, it's
taken some adjusting to get used to life offline. I'm sorry I havent
been able to individually reply all your emails. I have enjoyed
reading them however, so keep them coming!

I've got some amazing and funny stories to share with you, some of
which are not suitable for mass consumption ahaha. Let's see how many
I can type out before my brain implodes from the earbashing its
currently getting. Malaysian internet cafes are disturbingly loud
chambers of horror, with booming subwoofers blasting out the latest in
distracting violent video game sound effects and canto techno pop.

My trip down to Singapore was a blast. Thanks to Mike for putting me
up in 5 star resort accomodation and spinning some awesome hiphop! I
attended the premiere of my friend's film "Bubblegum, BJs and Bartop
Dancing" - an amusing mockumentary about the recent legalisation of
bartop dancing in Singapore (they now have their very own Coyote Ugly
bar complete with pole-dancing). The film argued that perhaps it's
also time for the Singapore Govt to revise other anachronistic laws
such as those outlawing the sale of bubblegum and oral sex, for which
you can still get a jail term! But to be fair to Singapore, there's an
ungodly amount of beautiful women there, I've had a great time on both
trips, and am continually impressed with how well-planned, green, and
pleasant the place is. As William Gibson once said -"It's like
Disneyland with the death penalty."

Back in KL, I've made some great friends who are not only fantastic
clubbing buddies but extraordinarily connected and entrepreneurial.
It's been quite inspirational hanging out with them. I've been helping
them out with the launch of their sleepwear label as well as planning
a huge rave party around the F1 Grand Prix in Shanghai... Yes, I've
started to make contacts in Shanghai before even arriving there!

I've been busy the past few days attending meetings, writing copy for
press releases, promotional flyers and sponsorship proposals. I've
also been doing some bizdev and marketing consulting for a skincare
company that sells whitening products. It's been quite a ride.

Naturally, I've also been fervently watching the Olympics and
barracking for both the Aussies and the Chinese into the early hours
of the morning. The Olympic coverage in Malaysia is nothing short of
fantastic - 6x channels covering different sports 24 hours a day. I've
been captivated by the taekwondo and fencing... and I never knew ping
pong and badminton could be so darn sexy. Roughly half the Olympic
coverage in Singapore was dedicated to these two sports. I watched
Singapore's best medal chance, Ronald Susilo, being defeated in the
Badminton Quarterfinals, live on a double-decker bus on my way home to
Holland V from Orchard Rd... if only we had live TV on the public
transport back in Oz eh?

Other local novelties I've taken a shine to, include: ying yong (half
coffee, half tea), boiled coke with ginger (surprisingly medicinal),
late night mee goreng and teh o ais, $4 movie tickets (Aust. cinemas
are a rort), Channel V Asia VJs, red bean ice potong and mango sago
loh (fresh mango puree with crushed ice and sago), bizarre drinking
games (asian's have no concept of "just drinking"), the expletive "Ji
Bai" (ok this is a bit juvenile but I find it amusing that people here
like to yell "vag*ina" in place of "fcuk"), samurai jack & spongebob
square pants (not local but I've been watching alot of TV with my
little cousins) and last but not least, crawling home at 5am and
sleeping under a ceiling fan until 1pm everyday... ah, am I making you
envious???

Anyway I'm flying out of KL tomorrow night and will arrive in Shanghai
8am Monday morning (10am Sydney time). That's when the real adventure
begins! I'm looking forward to the challenge of finding accomodation,
learning the language and settling into a city that boasts the same
population as Australia and Malaysia.

I'm in Kuala Lumpur now, the capital of Malaysia. I'm having a great time here. The tropical weather is a pleasant change from the coldstreets of Sydney. The daytimes are so hot and humid, I've been catching up on lost sleep, after a month of farewell parties, reading up on Shanghai and teaching myself mandarin from a book, going to gym and doing a bit of shopping. Its national sales season at the moment, so all the stores are 50% off.

But Malaysia really comes alive at dusk, when the air cools and everyone comes out to eat. The food here is incredibly cheap and delicious. I'm averaging about 5 meals a day, stuffing myself on the local delicacies, like satay, roti canai, otak otak, loh bak and bakkut teh, before hitting the bars and clubs. There are outdoor foodcourts everywhere and lots of Indian mamak stalls that are open 24 hours, so its easy to find a crowd having supper at 2-3am, even on aMonday! It's one of the things I like best about Asia... the cities never sleep.

I've also been playing a lot of late night snooker and9-ball pool. Snooker is really popular in Malaysia – boys start hanging out in snooker halls from the age of 14, so I've only been able to win one game against the locals so far! But I'm learning some new tricks and improving rapidly with each thrashing!

I have to say the number and size of the clubs here in KL just amazes me, considering the population here is less than Australia's, yet they seem to have twice as many clubs than Sydney and each club is packed out every night of the week. So far I've checked out Bar Med, Rush, Thai Club and Beach Club, which was an interesting mix of gays, drunk gwai-lohs, and prostitutes of indeterminable south east asian heritage.

Bar Med, the first club I visited, contained 3-levels of Hard Rock/Club Med inspired decor, including a giant runway with pool ladders on all sides, so patrons could climb up and shake their booty in front of the entire bar. Of course, as soon as I pointed out to my companions that we don't have anything like this in Australia, I was dragged up onto the bartop and forced to dance in front of the entire bar... and it wasn't even midnight yet! I'm sure we looked like country hicks in the big smoke for the first time, but I took comfort in my anonymity and made the most of the occasion...

Another thing that I've noticed is there is always a huge bottle of Chivas or Johnny Black on the table, as the cover charge system here encourages groups to buy a bottle of spirits and get in for free, or pay $40-60 ringgit per person (includes one standard drink). Alcohol here costs more than Australia, because the Government taxes it to discourage the Muslim Malays from drinking. Last night we joined a group who were drinking from a super-sized 5litre bottle of Chivas (it cost around $600 aussie), which came mounted in a special, tilting bottle glorifier to make the pouring easier. Ice and mixers are provided for free, and if you cant finish the bottle on the night, they put your name on it, mark the spirit level and put it in a cabinet for your next visit. The racks of half-finished Chivas bottles in each club is a sight to behold, sometimes taking up an entire wall! I've never seen anything like it before.

I love how the DJ's here mash up all musical genres, and the enthusiastic crowds just eat it up! You may go to a club known for good R&B or electro, when all of a sudden, a commercial radio song like Numb by Lincoln Park will come on, everyone starts pogoing and shouting, and even the bartenders will be up on the bar, headbanging and air guitaring in a KL rendition of Coyote Ugly! Beach Club likes to end the night on a super-fast version of the Malaysian Anthem... very amusing.

I've been learning to get around town in my grandfather's beaten-up Proton (Malaysia's national car maker), using a walkie-talkie to keep in touch with my friends, as they weave in and out of traffic, narrowly avoiding scooters and trucks. Driving in Malaysia is an exhilarating but hair-raising experience. Road-rules are generally ignored unless the police are around. Any comment I make about seatbelts, red lights, speed limits and drink driving, are all swept away with the same excuse of "Don't worry, lah! This is Malaysia!" Drivers here don't indicate, they just drift in and out of lanes. I've experienced some terrifying high-speed lane merges with only inches between the cars. That being said, it's a lot of fun driving in all this anarchy.You quickly learn to develop an intuition for traffic patterns and just "go with the flow." And in my case, I actually feel safer behind the wheel, than riding shotgun with my kamikaze KL friends.

I may be heading down to Singapore this weekend for the opening night party of my friend's movie (a provocative documentary on blowjobs of all things! Oral sex being still illegal in Singapore. Anyway I'll write more when I get back!